First I want to say "CONGRATS" to Colby, my babies uncle! I wish I could have been there but with all the drama I decided not to go....So I continue to go back and forth on the middle name of our son. I really like Lee but Aimee mentioned Dee after his grandfather Shannon and that has appeal to me.... not sure what to do.... Adalyn is doing so great and starting to feed her baby dolls which is adorable!!! She will be a big sister shortly! I am 32wks and 3days pregnant!! Just about 7 weeks tops and he will be here! I am truly blessed with my kids and I thank God for them and every opportunity I am given.
I didnt get to go to the graduation but I did get to tell him I was proud of him. Yesterday had to be the a good day and turn into a crappy night. I was able to see my childrens family which I thought was nice but the way I felt being around them wasnt what I thought it would be. I love all of them but yet I was treated as an outsider and heard something from a guy that I am so tired of being disrespected from that I cried. I know that they are not trying to cross him but in the same it was as I was crap in their eyes. Here I go crying again writing this... I just cant help it. I cried the entire way home. I have shared some pretty intimate and emotional things with him and I know we are both in the wrong but he continues to treat me as I am dirt and not sure what I have done to deserve it. At least you could do is be civil in front of our daughter and actually acknowledge that I exist but you choose to say only two words to me and not say "THANK YOU" until I leave and you have to text me. I dont understand it. I dont treat you that way and I dont ask my family to disown you or act as you are nothing. My mom still asks about you and my dad too. It breaks my heart all over again and I wish it didnt because it hurts me and the kids. And last week was another hard week with what happened... He finally came to an appt, this one made it the 3rd one he has been too. But it wasnt a good experience. Why is it okay to be on your phone the entire time texting another girl calling her "BABE" right next to me??? I dont think that is right and then act as you did nothing wrong. Then I offer for you to come see your daughter and you cant because there is something or someone in Shawnee that was more important. I have to admit it still hurts me but I know he wants to be 21 and single or go party but I think I deserve some respect for you to not do that in front of me....
I am trying to be nice but everytime I am nice I get ran over and do not understand why... So apparently I am a golddigger because I invited my childrens family to my baby shower... That really disgusts me honestly, I havent asked money of anyone, I have been the parent to buy the large and some small things for our son after someone refused to help me out. Baby showers are thrown to help the parents out but whatever. Just because you get an invite does not mean you have to attend. I sent a 3d photo to everyone and thought it was a nice thing, I am only trying to include their family in their lives.... When you get told doing that is bad and you are only trying to do a kind thing its funny because it makes you think well maybe I shouldnt include any of the ppl that think that and then would I be a nice or mean person then....
At times I wish I could move my family away or win the lottery to make all the bad stuff go away. It is all weighing so heavily on me and wish I wasnt dealing with this during my pregnancy....
No comments:
Post a Comment