Heya!!

It is almost 4 o'clock in the morning. Man oh man has so much happen since my last blog. Well to start things off I had to call the cops last night on my childrens father because he decided to break the court order and allow our children to sleep at his wifes house (his new wife from about 7 hours ago). So yeaterday was the first time he was allowed to take our son, (now I dont think he should have been but the judge ordered it so thats okay), it is killing me but I am getting through it, well we had made other arrangements to the pick up times he got him at 8 a.m. (3 hours early) I told him I would be there at 8a.m. today and he is trying to tell me he isnt giving me my son. I am sorry but I will get my son and if I have to involve the police I will. I seriously never saw my life where it is today and especially not being able to get along with my childrens father. I have so much anger built up towards him and certain people in his family because he has treated me like a POS, only wants minimal contact with his son when its convienant (he even misses his doctors appts cause he has other stuff to do), and his family for allowing him to continue all this and for them shunning their grandson/nephew/cousin. It is a poor shame that our kids have the same father but one is treated differently and put behind two other children and a woman. I might be bitter but it is all for good cause. I wasnt surprised when he got hitched because I know why he did it was to have the kids spend the night at her house. I have met her a couple times and have nothing bad to say about her, I dont know her and dont have respect for her cause of somethings that have happened. IDK really what to say but I think it is pretty funny that someone can cheat and lie to a person but they feel its okay to hitch and give similar stuff to another person you gave another. I am really dying to move my kids, my mother, and myself away from all this cause there is really nothing for them cause there is so much negative energy around. I want my children to grow up in an environment that is loving and caring and I dont see any of that going on around them. I about went crazy today. I am used to my daughter going with their father but I am not used to my son going. When you spend 9 months pregnant then 5 months with your child always with you it is hard to let go I cried for about 5 hours this morning and some more this evening. I did the same with Adalyn the first couple months she started going with her father. I still have yet to receive any child support for our son or any help when I ask their father to buy a box of diapers for them. The child support I receive for our daughter keeps getting reduced because his employer keeps shorting me. I am beyond angry. Raising two children isnt cheap and when you ask for help you would think the other parent would want to help out but no they arent a big priority anymore he has a wife and two other children to care for. All this stuff will bite you in the butt in a couple years. He told me not too long ago that "All I have done is f***** up his life". I was shocked I carried and birthed his two children and loved that man he was for 2 years and I messed his up. I am the one caring for our kids with little help, I was the one left twice for no reason, I am contiunously humilated by you and put down, you call me names, you call me your wifes name, you bring women around me, you drag me through court. but yet when I bring the kids around you and your family or work with you on your times I am the bad person I never do anything to help you. I am so angry and tired of all this I know the truth and have all the proof in messages and recordings. Its so sad that I feel I need to send them to you because you are so dumbfounded on the entire issue. I am just angry and I am ranting.

ON A BETTER NOTE CHRISTIAN E.L. BIEGER WEIGHED IN AT 17LB 11OZ AND 26IN LONG!!! MY SON IS GETTING SO BIG! MY DAUGHTER IS DOING GREAT SHE HAS STARTED TO SAY A FEW PHRASES! I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT SHE WILL BE TWO IN JANUARY.... I CANNOT WAIT TO START MAKING HER STUFF FOR HER PARTY AND PLANNING IT. WE ARE GOING TO TAKE SOME MORE PICTURES HOPEFULLY SOON, WHEN I START TO GET MY PAYCHECKS AND HOPEFULLY CHILD SUPPORT. I AM STILL LOVING MY APT BUT I WAS SUPPOSE TO CLEAN TODAY AND THAT DIDNT HAPPEN..... OH WELL I AM GOING BACK TO SLEEP I HAVE TO WAKE UP SOON TO GET READY AND GO GET MY SON!!! I REALLY HOPE HE IS WHERE HE SHOULD BE WITH OUR CHILDREN I DONT FEEL LIKE DRIVING ALL OVER. SWEET DREAMS AND SORRY FOR MY ANGRY RANTING....