June 15 is our first meeting for our new mothers club! We are very excited. We have a surprise in stores for the mothers... We are just going to start off simple with the outings and meetings. We really have high hopes for this club! So far it looks like a small group but we know it will grow.
Today was fun! In the morning Adalyn was super cranky so she took a few naps... Later on she had a play date with Dylin, Heather Rogers son... They were so cute together. They almost gave baby kisses to eachother. Adalyn was kicking him gently and slapping his face gently. Dylin is only 17 days older than Adalyn. They were so darn cute!
Today I got all ready to go apply at jobs. I got a call from New York & Company to come back Saturday for a second interview. So I went and applied at Hooters today. Then I headed downtown and I am 4 miles from the next place and my car dies over 6 times. So I park my car at a meter, I never put change in it, and sit for a bit. Then I drove to Bass Pro Shop to wait on Brittany's mom to come follow me. Well my car was running fine so I decided to attempt to drive home. I made it safely. I have to take my car in somewhere and get a ball park figure on what is wrong and how much it will cost. I just LOVE paying to fix things.
I just love all the time I get to spend with my daughter. I am going to miss being a stay-at-home mom... But this is what I signed on when I stopped fighting for what we wanted. I miss him everyday but I know God does things for a reason. And there is a good reason why we are not together but I have a feeling on what it is. I feel sometimes like I am the only for still trying to make things work or for us to be civil but it is hard when you go it alone. I dont have much family to turn to. I have his family but I feel wrong doing it and he doesnt like it. I am scared that when those papers get turned in and are denied I will be completely clueless as to what to do. I said if I had a kid I would not want to live on assistance and I wanted to give my daughter what I could. It kills me to have to depend on ours but I have got used to it because I have had the pleasure of a man do that for me and take care of us but now I am on my own once more. I thought that struggle was over but it is just beginning. I am so grateful for God blessing me with a healthy daughter, her father, and his family taking me in as one of their own. They never had to do that but I am so thankful for the kindness and open-heartedness they have given me. I will always love and cherish them. I always wished that my family was like that towards me. I wonder why I have been put through so many tests but it has been to make me stronger and it has. I once again today have gotten pushed to the side twice. Well I seen Letters to Juilet and Dear John movies in the past two days. And I loved them. Dear John reminds me of a new short lived romance I had but is now over. I keep saying "Everything happens for a reason." You get back what you give. I am not sure if I am giving enough. I am a good mother and I have received a wonderful daughter, I am a good friend and I receive great friends, but I must not give enough romantic love to receive that never ending love story.
Thank God everyday for everything He has given and continues to give to all of us.
Sweet dreams to all...
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