2 WEEKS!!!!

My little boy is 16 days old. I cannot believe it... Having two kids is not as hard as I thought it might be. I love being a mother of two and each day they fulfill me more and more... Christian has been having trouble with his jaundice levels I had to take him to the hospital twice in the past week to have a bili test done. His levels are still high but are going down so Monday we are going back to have another test ran. Being a single mother of two is only hard because I am not working and have no income coming in, I feel as I am not doing what I should as a mother and have had to ask people for help lately with stuff. So almost everyday this week I have been apt hunting and I am hoping I can get approved for one without having to beg people to cosign for me. I should be starting work the middle of August and I am going to try and get a second job thru the college work study too.
Is it bad when everything reminds you of the one you loved and losted? Recently all the great and bad things we have been thru are in my head more than they have been. I am going thru a stage that I should have been going thru when I lost you but it is happening now. Even though we are mean at times to one another you always hope for good to happen.
The kids and I have been going to church every Sunday and it is really great to be back in the Lord's house and praise him. I dislike that I let us stray away from His words and guidance. Hopefully now He will lead us on the right path.
Last Sunday at bible study we read this verse and it caught my heart.....
                 Many are the plans in a person’s heart,

                but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.
                           -Proverbs 19:21