At the end of the rope....

So I am enjoying being a mother of two, still hard to believe I have two kids!!! I love my babies and miss my little girl when she is with her father. My son is doing great except he had to go to the hospital Thursday to have his jaundice levels checked again. His levels were even higher so Monday we are going back to the hospital. I am praying for my son that he will be fine and the levels go down. I have been putting him in the window to get some sun but the heat is so high this summer I dont want it to get to him too bad.

I have been apartment hunting this past week and found one I want and some others I want to go look at. I have considered moving out of town because there are cheaper apartments out of the city like 30+ minutes away. I need to do what I can because I am on a limited budget and have to make it stretch till I can go back to work.

So I am at the end of the rope with all the petty drama and everything. I still cannot wrap my head around some of the things that go on. What is the right stuff to do when you are in agreement of joint custody? I dont agree with leaving a child with a 13 year old girl to babysit a child so a parent can go out and do whatever they feel like doing, and leaving a child with two kids that have never babysitted and dont care too much for babies is not right. Should the other parent have the option to watch their child in that case?

Facebook has made grown adults turn into childish individuals... It is sad to make a child delete someone because they post something on their facebook and the person it involved got upset that they got caught. When two people have a child together out of wedlock and the father refuses to sign the birth certificate because their attorney advises them too but acts like a dad but hasnt offered to help or buy diapers, what should the mother do in this situation?

When you look at your future you never expect the worst to happen to you. I thought 3 years ago I had been treated the worst I could ever be treated but it was nothing compared to now. The man I love treats me like dirt and expects me to give the world to him yet we fight after the birth of our son and he possibly ran to his girlfriends to be with her and her kids, I feel thats so disrespectful if that is where he went... I hate that he hasnt even asked if I needed help or if his son needs anything.

I am very concerned that he is taking our daughter around a girl he hasnt been dating that long and they have already broken up before. I dont want to meet her but I feel if she is around my daughter that I should meet her. I had a dream about it and it was not a good meeting it turned ugly!!!! I hate fighting with him but it just happens sometimes. When he picked our daughter up we barelly spoke to one another, how can you go from loving someone and being intimate with to being mean to one another?

Loving my life and kids. Thank you God for each and every day you bless me with.