Could I?

So I have been thinking that I might have post-partum depression... I have been so sad and stressed the entire time I was pregnant and it has continued on after. Today I spent the day crying over Granmama, mykids, living/money situation and the mess with Tarrance. I do not know what to do. I am going to ask my friend if he will be okay with us living with him for a a couple weeks, if that. I really need to put some distance in between Tarrance and I because I know it will do us some good to be away and to stop arguing. Still have not found a place to live and still very tight on money. Still have no kind of help with expenses for my son, and its hard when you have to buy a box of diapers each week. It is only convienant for him to be dad when he picks/drops or daughter off. I bring the kids to see you when its not your time but when I ask because her cousin is in town you say NO, dont see how thats right. I am putting my foot down from here on out, NO MORE MRS. NICE GIRL.... I am tired of being put down and treated like a POS. So today I went to the hospital and when I got there he was helping his gf in the car. Then later went to see her to make sure she was okay. It really hurt me because he couldnt even stay with me the entire time of the labor I went through with our son and couldnt stay with me after I had our son because we got into a fight about him not signing the Birth Certificate. He really has changed and is not that man I fell so deeply in love with. I get his moved on and whatever but its hard for me when we have kids... I am playing both roles sometimes for both kids and its not easy when you need another person there.... UGH.... Almost       2 1/2 more weeks and I will be planning to get Mirena in and hopefully have a place to live. I really am scared to sign a year lease but might have to do it. I am terribly wanting to move back to Kansas, idk why but it really grew on me when I lived there and I miss it. I might call our old landlord and see if he might have any houses available. Once Sept rolls around I can play for a few months in advance and that could possibly get me a place without having to go through all that income crap... I got the call today from my sons' doctor that I need to take him to the hospital again to have his bili rubin tested again. Today and last night I got my room packed and almost ready to move. Tomorrow I plan to take stuff out to the curb and get stuff packed in case we cant find a place to move. I really wish I had a good family that would like to help me and my kids out to let us move in but I guess I have to learn the tough way of being a single mother of two with no family backbone except a couple people. And tomorrow I am going to be the bigger person and tell him I am done fighting and how he has made me feel I think. Maybe a letter would be better. I even made him a cheesecake today for him and he threw it on the trash, what a slap in my face. I am done writing today cause I keep crying.